When Emotions Make Us Gag
I have a gag reflex. If I see, hear, or even think about vomit, I will vomit too. I can’t help it. I’ve always been that way. I come by it honestly; my mom has the same problem.
When I was a teenager, we had a big, goofy German Shepherd. I adored him, except for the day he puked all over the living room rug.
My mom and I tried to clean it. For real.
But within seconds, both of us were gagging so violently that we had no choice but to roll the rug up, drag it through the house, gagging the entire time, and toss it out the back door into the snow.
Where it stayed all winter.
Photo by Irina Spotkai / Unsplash
The next spring, we hauled it to the dump.
It wasn't even a cheap rug, and my family didn't just have extra money sitting around. My mom had saved her tips for a year to buy it.
So it wasn't like we had all this extra cash sitting around or a basement full of rugs...we were broke, but it was still the only option for us at that moment because we couldn't handle puke, and no one else was around to clean up the mess.
Emotional Reflexes
That's my reflex. Puke makes me puke. Somehow, though, I've become numb to tears. I listen to tragic stories, and don't cry.
I was working with another professional a few weeks ago who tears up with patients. We were brainstorming strategies to help her stop.
That’s the expectation.
Therapists are supposed to sit stone-faced while listening to horrific trauma.
As I was pondering it later that night, I wondered: How do any of us hold back the tears? And should we?
Rolling Up the Rug
Emotions are meant to motivate us. That's their purpose.
A few weeks ago, my daughter announced she was considering education as a profession.
And fear hit me in the pit of my stomach.
Am I the only one with fears for our schools?
And if I am, how come?
Why don't we do anything about it?
Emotions should motivate us...
Obviously, we have options. We can choose to shove that puke-covered rug (fear for schools... and our country) out the door (so to speak).
And wait for spring.
Avoidance is always an option.
Or we can gag our way through cleaning it up.
Because that rug ain't goin' nowhere!
So, What Now?
Most likely, the healthiest thing isn’t stone-faced silence or rolling up rugs and pretending the mess isn’t ours.
We probably need to learn how to gag and clean, to cry, connect, and keep showing up, even when it’s messy.
Especially when it’s messy.
Because everything is behavioral health...Even gag reflexes.
What do you think?
What emotions have you rolled up and tossed into the snow? What would it look like to finally drag them back inside and clean them up?
