Stop Turning People Into Thanos
Somewhere along the way, we started treating disagreement like villainy. If you don’t agree with me, you must be Thanos. But real life isn’t a Marvel movie, and most people aren’t evil. They’re overwhelmed, reactive, and doing the best they can with what they have.
Not everyone who disagrees with you is a villain.
In Marvel movies, you always know who the bad guy is.
It's obviously the big ugly guy, Thanos, and he must be destroyed.
Real life isn’t that simple.
We all have good and bad inside of us, yet somewhere along the way we started treating disagreement like villainy.
When Disagreement Turns Personal
We confuse agreeing with one another as kindness, respect, or even humanity.
I recently had a disagreement with a parent politically, who then said:
"I knew I shouldn't have let you go to college."
Right...college did it...
That reminded me how easily disagreements can become attacks.
Why We All Think We’re Right
The truth is, most of us assume we’re right. That’s normal.
No one is wrong on purpose.
In fact, I love to tell my husband, "I only argue with you when I'm right..."
Most situations aren’t black-and-white. What’s right for me might not be right for you.
We both want what benefits us.
Like, maybe I’m a 49ers fan, and you’re a Cowboys fan.
Life is complex, but we make it harder by assuming disagreement means opposition.
Even when the stakes are serious, it’s worth remembering:
- No one is wrong on purpose.
- No one wants to be stuck in a bad situation.
- We don’t always know what someone else is carrying.
So maybe we should change our assumptions.
We’re all battling to survive. Some of us just have more resources to help us do it.
This is where assumptions hurt.
People aren’t “choosing” badly. They’re stuck.
The data is sobering:
- 1 in 3 women have experienced some form of sexual assault.
- A child who is sexually abused once is statistically more likely to be abused again.
- It takes an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship.
People don’t want to suffer, but they may not have the means to escape it.
You don’t have to agree with someone.
You don’t have to donate to their cause.
You don’t even have to like them.
We’re Not Thanos. We’re the Hulk.
We're trying to do good, but sometimes overwhelmed, reactive, and wake up in our shredded underwear, overwhelmed by the mess we're in.
Who have you turned into the villain lately?
What might happen if you looked again and tried to understand what they’re carrying?
