Ghosting: 2001 Style

Back in the day, before cell phones and my ability to set boundaries, I had a small mishap with a potential date.

It was my freshman year of college; 18 years old and 100% on my own for the first time.

Literally the first week of college. In fact, my tennis shoes still smelled like pig poop from showing in my last county fair.

After our freshman orientation event, I was asked out on my first date, and although I was not interested, I had no idea how to say ‘no.’

Boundaries were not a thing in my family.

You did what you were expected to do, and if you didn’t, there was guilt and pressure until you caved in.

So, most of the time, I said ‘yes’ and did as I was expected.

The night he was set to pick me up from our small dorm, where we both lived, I hid under my bed when I heard him knock.

Yes, you read that correctly.

I hid under the bed in my studio bedroom, in the building where we both lived, hoping he would believe I had forgotten our date and just leave.

He didn’t.

Instead, he slid a note under my door that said,

“I know you’re in there.”

I persisted in my avoidance, and he eventually gave up. I never looked at or spoke to him again. Even though at that time, I attended a small, private college, lived in the same building as him, and had classes with him.

What I Wish I Knew Then:

Boundaries aren’t rude.

And the clearer the better.

Because clear is kind.

And everything is behavioral health...especially what we learn about communication in our childhood...