Because loving them means loosening your grip

Everyone warns you to “cherish it” when your kid is small. I tried, but honestly? I barely had time to eat, let alone savor anything.

As a single parent working multiple jobs, most days felt like survival math: sleep, work, dinner, repeat. Cherishing had to wait.

But I refuse to live in regret. This year, I’m focusing on what we can do together...without suffocating her.

Next year, I'll change my focus to designing my new craft room.

Sorry kid, but I'm gonna need a new hobby!

1. The Senior Trip (No, Not Cancun. I'm a Social Worker, remember?)

I’m thinking a road trip, a cute hotel, maybe a spa day, and definitely a thrift shopping spree, our favorite sport. A trip with meaning, without spending her whole college fund.

2. Coffee Dates Like We’re Adult Friends

Time for a new tradition. Coffee dates for fun, not as a segue into a lecture. I’ll try not to boss her about what size she can order and hope she spills some “t” and not the cold brew.

3. Chatting While She’s Bed Rotting (Apparently a Lifestyle)

Gen Z has turned “lying in bed scrolling TikTok” into a lifestyle, but that’s also when she suddenly wants to talk about the future, friends, or life. So, I grab a blanket and cozy up beside her, pretending it doesn’t sting that TikTok still gets more eye contact than I do.

4. Midnight Talks (a.k.a. Conversations I Don’t Remember)

If she wants to talk at midnight, I’m saying yes, even though by morning, I can’t recall a word of it. She swears I was awake and coherent. I’m choosing to believe her.

5. Photos—With Me in Them

I’m done being the invisible photographer. This year, I’m in the pictures, wrinkles, grays, and all. Someday, she’ll want proof her mom was there, not just behind the camera yelling, “Smile!”

6. Letting Her Make Her Own Choices (Ouch)

This one hurts. I want to bubble-wrap her and handpick her future. But my job is shifting: I’ll always be her soft place to land, even when her choices make me bite my tongue. Well, at least I should bite my tongue...and I promise I try.

7. Soaking It All In (Before the Crafting Really Begins)

At the end of the day, it’s not about the trips or the coffee. It’s about hearing her laugh from upstairs, catching her eye roll across the table, and realizing: these are the days I’ll replay when her room is full of fabric scraps and my lopsided attempt at a quilt.

What matters is this: I still have one more year to savor her under my roof, and I plan to soak up every second…Before I buy that sewing machine.